the bad and the good...

hmmm

well

for the first time in my career

i got shot down by a parent...

i remember mc telling me how she dreaded some parent-teacher evenings

and i never understood why

and when she told me

i couldn't really sympathise...

well...

now i can...

a parent just laid into me

she had every right

since i have been sending her daughter off to detention regularly

i was slightly surprised

again

i should probably prepare for such events

but by doing so

one clogs up one's naiviete or innocence of clarity

and i listened attentively

i made the stupid mistake of allowing her to continue without stopping her

and in fact

i directed some attention to her daughter

who broke down

a harrowing experience

and now the parent thinks i am some kind of monster

and the daughter is being pulled out of my class without my say

and the bizarre thing is

even before term

we were fine together

at least

she seemed happy to produce some christmas decorations...

my impression is

if things start going pear-shaped

they go pear-shaped fast

my hit rate in schools was about 80-90%

and by hit rate

i mean we had superb classes

with only 5% being disasters

with little neutral ground

i have got a little older

more stable

and so the intensity of my presence is not as strong

and so i should settle for more mediocre results...

anyhoo

the good thing is

i had an excellent chat with anita who is a teacher assistant last week

and she really resonates with the classroom co-ordinator

and a brief word with david

oh a good conversation with julie who is the head's pa

(or have i mentioned that already?)

and with judith who is head of special educational needs

in fact

that conversation brought tears to my eyes

since she was kind enough to share her insights and her values wrt social dynamics

honestly

my best experiences seem to be with adults

these days

which is very odd...

had a reasonable engagement with david

who is learning to teach here

and how is the teacher representative at the governors meetings

who happens to be an incredibly well-adjusted person

and gets my vote for being on-the-ground

i believe i could work with this man

he is really good

however

today

i ended up chatting with a few members of staff

and i knew i shouldn't have

since i had a sense they would not resonate with the ideas...

and sure enough

they couldn't see beyond the limitation of the jobs on offer

or they thought it was wasn't in their sphere of influence

or they didn't think they were empowered enough to effect change

and sadly

i don't think i am going to get any support from my department --

if only i could produce the goods in my classes...

only then would i receive the respect needed for them to trust some of my ideas...

rightly

i have no evidence that my ideas and skills and practice actually come together

but

if anything is going to come of this

it will be because of the resonance in others

that is

it shall not be led by me

but rather carried by the insight and belief of everyone involved...

the chances of this growing are very slim

a lot worse than when i was queen anne's

with the kids doing amazing things

staff resonance

and even the head being interested

when it was stopped due to a union-management clash

preventing a restructuring of year 7's and subsequently putting an end to our run of enthusiasm...

bottom-up growth is very difficult...

it didn't work when all the people were positive...

will it work if there isn't much evidence in my classes

and indeed there isn't much resonance in the school...?

we will see who turns up at the informal meetings on friday...

the responsibility as to what happens next

will fall squarely on them

hehehehehe

be well

all

and thanks for reading my posts...

love

d