resign_ed

resigned last week

and it was accepted this week...

and yet

today

i think of new ways of teaching...

but they are a little too laborious to employ at this stage

taking elements from films

and showing the kids

eg the doors in monsters inc

relating that to negative numbers

makes me think about the relationship between negative indices

which is related to fractions

and yet at the same time

can they refer to negative dimensions?

to use a film over a two week period when teaching...

hm...

i have a couple of months left of teaching

perhaps i should push the boat out and try...?

also

i have this feeling that my education was mostly what happened outside of school

when we played games at home

i don't think i thought much at school

i just learned stuff rote-fashion

and there is this guy in one of my classes

who doesn't seem to do much

and yet

he ends up getting the highest grades

and i found him once on the computers

playing games

and he said that what he spent most of his time doing...

my prediction is

they should rename the maths department as the games department

and have a course on arithmetic

i have three ideas which i am playing around with

regarding education

which are

1

to write a fictional account of an educationalist in the future

day in the life of

kind of thing

2

specify an ideal system for school now

kind of like parking my ideas as specifically and systematically as possible

3

send off the old education book

the last i really need to do

turning things around

i thought it was a good idea

to try to turn things around from the beginning of term

the year 10 cope have responded positively

and they managed to do a considerable amount of work

the other year 10's seem as lackadaisical as always

the year 9's are ok

the year 7's are fine

and the year 8's lost their opportunities again

and so i have been heavy with them for a week

it is almost clear to me now

that teaching is not for me

at least

not normal teaching

and i have not been able to introduce the kind of change

that miraculously i managed while supply

so

what's next?

i don't feel like i want to try too hard this term with the kids

and i should be looking at sending my book to agents

although sofia has put me in touch with gerard

regarding becoming some kind of educational expert

i am not sure if i can hack another year in london...

i am considering some rather drastic changes

giving up and just offering my services to a monastery

(teaching english for example)

trying to write about subjective science

(maths and consciousness i guess)

and perhaps taking a more substantial stand this year

so the future is something which ends at the end of this term

and i should at least be

1

establishing whether any agent likes my stuff

2

checking out feasibility of working in london with gerard et al

3

working on skeleton of new book

4

considering financial leap and taking a stand this year

and by summer

relieved from the post

i might be in a lighter position to make an appropriate decision :)

slow motion

the wind around my exposed cottage/barn

woke me up really early the other day

and i spent most of the night

tossing and turning

while thinking about school

things are ok

i suppose

but i don't feel happy about the quality of my teaching

and the quality of learning in my classes...

i need to talk to darren about my situation

for us to consider what the best step forwards is

it has taken me the best part of a year

to get to grips with the technical side of working at hds

and now that i know where stuff is

i can just about find resources

the kids are getting used to me being there

though i feel that i am not able to play the game i would like to

instead

my playing is rather limited in scope

i am not sure what service i actually provide the school

how helpful i am to the kids

how i actually fit into the maths team

and how i am furthering my own career

i feel that the skills i have developed over 10 years

amount to nothing

i have suggested to colleagues that we split groups wrt attitude

but no-one is going with that

i like proposed at the beginning of the year

that we should develop a more flexible team-teaching arrangement

rather than resorting to the suped-up filing system that is kalaidos

but no-one has followed up on this

i had a kid call me legend today

and i shook my head and said

not in this school

i know the difference

when i was in dunfermline

i think after only two weeks

i had kids stop in their tracks and call me a legend

and they meant it

because i had done something with them in a class

that was show-stopping

the young men had responded so positively

that my reputation had begun to spread around the school

i know what the positive cycle is like

and all i have experienced at hds

is the negative one

i remember

during the first two days there

how every class prevented me from addressing them in my style

how each class had objected in some way or other

with only one class responding positively

to whom i am indebted

i thought i could have learned from the introduction of the discipline policy

but i haven't

since i already knew that it is not a policy that works

but how it is implemented in the classes...

and there is a whole set of skills that i have not practiced

since i have relied almost exclusively

on working with the goodwill of the students in my charge

i have received several letters of complaints from parents

several kids have managed to swap teachers

and i don't have the respect of my colleagues

i shall speak to darren this weekend

while digging a hole in his back yard

to see what he would suggest

i don't have much of a future

though sofia has graciously invited me to stay in london

to try out the brixton thing

but i am not sure how my skill set will fit in

since i am not used to the adult world of work...

if i finish this summer

i shall finish with no more money than i started a year ago

so going to cape verdi is probably out

i started hds thinking i was pretty hot at the teaching thing

not only with kids

but with an idea on how to transform education

i may be leaving feeling like i am one of the worst teachers

not only with the kids

but underconfident wrt working with adults...

still

if it doesn't kill you

it makes you stronger

is that right?

engagement in maths...

how about a school renown for producing the best games-players in the world...

(hrmph

where's the embed video facility?

engagement in schools and games players

tut)

maths is all about playing games

and until kids get the level of abstraction for playing games with numbers and letters

ie algebra

let them play other games...

it's only a matter of time

before our frontal brains enlarge to cope with abstract relationships

so stick to arithmetic practice and any kind of game

as along as we discuss them

i suppose...

a kid impressed me yesterday

[when writing a post

i'd like to set the title window

below the editing window

so the title is more a summation/target for the thing i have written]

three experiences:

pub-quiz and sense of belonging

maths extreme and county council consultants

confluence model and teacher formations...

pub-quiz and sense of belonging

simeon royale organised a pub-quiz for the school

great fun

with a whole range of school participants

from kids to teachers to governors to teaching assistants to the head

(not sure if any catering and grounds staff were there though)

some kids performed between rounds

one guy singing some kind of blues

amazing

and the rounds were based mainly on music and maths

which is quite phenomenal really if you think about it --

people enjoying themselves socially with maths...

there are definitely a group

perhaps we can call it a community

which are very vibrant

a pleasure to see leadership team on microphone being themselves

really letting their hair down

and little if no pretense

a real sense of genuine engagement

lovely

a pleasure to be part of...

and yet

i woke up this morning thinking about presenting my words to the school

perhaps at a morning staff meeting

saying that i don't share the sense of belonging so evident in a few of the people there

how the talents and skills which could make the school thrive

are not working together harmoniously

for some reason

i have the notion that everyone should be included

and that is not merely a matter of inviting people

it is a matter of welcoming people into the group

darren has tried hard at making people feel welcome in so many ways

and in fact

i think he will continue to do so

perhaps it comes naturally to him

perhaps it was his experiences in africa...

a singular incident:

i was speaking to dave

and he cut me short

it was strange

and slightly unexpected

you see

i thought we had enough of a resonance for me to resound my positivity

regarding how valuable certain people are in the school

and who are not recognised

especially those who have significant social warmth and capacity

for example

dave himself

and this guy called luke

both of whom make £11k a year

£11k a year

that's not much

and considering their contribution

which is like a gell or glue or lubricant or something

without whom

the school would be a much poorer place

how can we espouse an every child matters

and rabbit on about community

and celebrating the diversity of skills and intelligences amoungst kids

when we as adults

can not?

it is a catch-22

the most vital one

the one that i place me self at the heart of

the one which causes me to not have a sense of belonging

to form a comfortable group

unless

we are thinking realistically

of everyone being involved

the trick

quite clearly

is to have a positive cycle occuring both at the level of the children

as well as at the level of the adults

a classroom co-ordinator might do the trick for the kids

and this might be enough to confluence the adults...

but i need enough adults to confluence for the role to be piloted

a remark:

i have encountered this throughout my adult life

where i draw attention to the positive qualities of colleagues and friends and family

and they do not allow such accurate praise to... settle...?

and in so doing

they are discarding the skill that i have within a social group

that is

drawing attention to real positive talents and skills people possess

there are lots of possible reasons why any individual might not accept positive feedback

perhaps because of their school upbringing

where teachers lavish (false) praise on those who know do not deserve it

perhaps because they are not recognised professionally

and they can not bear to recognised because of the pain that it surfaces...

after all

many of us are not contributing our full human capacities

of warmth and generosity and humour and skills and love

with friends and family let alone colleagues

(me included)

maths extreme and county council consultants

two council advisors came in this week

sally and andy

and they were very stimulating

they talked about gifted and talents

and offered interesting practical ways of stretching such individuals

and as a result

the social group in which they are placed

interesting chat with sally afterwards

where there seemed to be a reasonable resonance

her background is drama

and she appears to be a genuine teacher

teacher in the deeper sense of the word

and it would be nice to continue chatting with her one day

talked with andy afterwards

and i made it clear at the outset that this was a crucial conversation for me

and he kindly stretched a 10mins chat to 45 mins

deep resonance regarding the changes occuring in the entire educational system

i managed to just about contain the same ideas we share in my own words

and then

i tried to draw attention to my gordian knot solution --

to create positive dynamics within a class

generate a sense of teamwork and belonging

and by linking this class to class

generating the strength of community which is continuous through time

i am afraid

he kept on flicking the conversation into what he was doing

speaking of pods of teachers and research groups and self-assessment

but all at the level of management and teaching

i applauded his efforts and resounded his intention and good practice

and i pressed my point twice with a different approach

and upon his third cycle into adult formations

i sat quietly and resigned myself to evident situation i was in:

my agenda was not on the agenda

he left me wishing me the best

thanking me for a stimulating conversation

however

i left feeling really frustrated

since

we had talked for so long

i had resonated with his efforts

and he could not see what i was contributing --

and his name had been mentioned by another colleague

as being someone in the council who might comprehend/resonate with my ideas

i was so annoyed

i met sean on the way back to my room

(this was at 7pm

sean always works late

in fact

he puts in 12 to 14 hours a day!)

and i just hurled out my frustration to the world

poor guy

he knows he doesn't get what i am saying either

and thinks it is i who does not understand something...

(my mis-understanding is intentional)

then i happened to bump into... sally?

we've talked a few times

she is an ast

advanced skills teacher

and she is good

though i have always thought that those who have met with success

are not willing to listen to those who have met with failure

(seemingly an obvious conclusion to make

but at the heart of it

mistaken

since it neglects a prime over-riding factor:

context)

success breeds a kid of contempt...

anyhooo

we had a lovely conversation

and we really related

which was a joy

and i had more of a deep engagement with her than with andy the consultant --

which happens to affirm one of my core principles of change

the people in the situation are the best people to sort out the problems

and since we are equals

just teachers after all

we have the power to effect the change we need to see in our classrooms

really nice

really

i wish i could relate the points

but i have already gone on enough

beyond anyone's capacity to be interested...

offering teachers to do less

concentrate on feeding the positive and not generating coping strategies for the negative

lack of self-discipline is dealt with at the level of the kids first, before we as adults step-in

we sort out the social disorder, we prevent much disinterest and disaffection

kids should not need to be pushed, but their energy inspiring and entertaining to us old fogies

we get to the perfect school by orientating ourselves towards it, and taking practical steps now

confluence model and teacher formations...

i believe the confluence model could be really useful for schools

with teachers putting in their daily intentions

which can be related to class lesson plans

links to various resources etc

so that other teachers who are teaching similar classes

can learn from

for example

if i am teaching year 8's algebra

it would be nice to follow a lesson plan that another teacher has followed

using their resources etc

it is not so much building a library of resources

which is the current thinking

but generating the relationships between similarly-minded teachers

imagine geese and their v-formations

or

it might be nice to see what year 8's are doing in french

for example

in the class just before i teach them maths

and perhaps i can make a few links myself...

so simple

and to finish

i teach this kid called jordan

he's in a class of year 10's called

the cope group

he has some ability with arithmetic

being the best in the class

but he will not really apply himself to anything tricky

kicking up a fuss misbehaving etc

the staff happened to be playing the neighbouring school at football

(which we won 5-2

and they are a sport's college!)

and jordan was amoungst a bunch of kids who were willing to stand around and watch

(it was bitterly cold)

they invited me to do a bit of a warm up

(since i was sub for the first half)

and i watched them play around with the ball --

amazing

keep ups like you see people do on adverts

looping the ball with the leg

i sigh now

while writing this

jordan could so easily have been part of the social community

contributing his skill and talents to the whole community

generating a sense of belonging

playing for his teammates his class his school

and if he was good enough

his county and even country

if only

if only

he had found his place in year 7 with his peers

instead

i suspect

he tried to compete with others in english say or even maths

found there were others better than him

and so gave up

in order to foster the best of us

we undoubtedly need competition

married to

an equal sense of collaboration

diversity

unity

every class

every lesson

every day

we do that in one school

we may help nurture human beings capable of sustaining world peace

practically

openminds planb

so andy is doing the official open minds

which we may consider to be planA

which will probably go ahead

we are just playing

however important it is

the vitality of this opportunity

let's consider it a game

after all

if we don't do it lightly

what's the point?

essential elements:

key points for teachers

presentation ideas

encouraging teachers to play

to at least imagine an ideal

and the overcoming critical mind objections

teacher presentation:

1

a little about me and my experience

a little about system thinking and the positive cycle around self-discipline

2

enough objections in people's minds will probably have arisen

and are invited to write these down on red cards...

3

talk about standard implementation:

top-down and by tried and tested systems

and how they fail generally

since they are not context-specific

so

we approach it completely different

if we believe the real learning is child-centred

then so

the real system change comes from within each teacher

and the idea of what it was, is and the ideal

the trick is

to give enough space for the mind to consider an alternative

without getting dragged down by current conditions

that is

invite teachers to let go of realism

to recall their idealism when they were starting off

imagining potential

imagining a dream

the more realistic the better of course

for those who wish to give the exercise a certain edge of...

realism

invite teachers to consider these for a few minutes

some bullet points

then share with partner

then as a group

hear some

share some of ours

again

if negative mind comes into play

just make a note on the red cards

4

so

i deal with these red cards now

live

as it were

5

introduce the gordian solution

classroom co-ordinators

6

introduce the next step

which is to go away and let things mull over

and consider if people are open enough to allow this thing to grow

there is no point thinking beyond the next step

apart from having a general trajectory:

time-table for introducing it this next september

putting together a funding scheme

those interested defining a clearer job spec

probably getting ok from board of governors

does this sound ok...?

phew

well

friday was more interesting

for some reason my energy was pretty high

and i conducted classes with uncharacteristic aplomb

out of the six people i have talked to who responded positively

four turned up

which is nice

with an additional two...

also

there were three students who were teacherless

and so i introduced them to my ideas too

they found it pretty interesting

with one girl engaging with discussion

and this guy listening attentively

and since i allowed them to stay when the adults turned up

he said he thought it was unusual

to hear adults talk that way...

i couldn't get any more words out of him

after all

how could you describe a real mind-buzz when you are only 15/16

we talked about radical ideas

changing education

in fact

society as a whole...

about social dynamics

awareness and how it changes from child- to adult-hood

very interesting

yup

that's what i remember about supply

being able to introduce interesting topics with people

whatever their age...

god i miss it!

and then at the end of the day

i ended up having a bizarre conversation with darren

the boss

who seemed surprised when i said i did not have many strategies to deal with disobedient kids

things like

threaten to phone their parents

that kind of thing...

how could i control classes then

over the last ten years of my teaching

especially doing supply?

and i told him

i seldom if ever relied on invoking authority

it was all about catching minds

drawing attention to things that were interesting

waking them up...

i admit it

i am terrible at discipline systems

terrible!

i have never been good at implementing them

and though i looked forward to this new one

i think it has proven what i first thought:

it is not so much the system

but how it is implemented

there is something about my manner and being

that make its implementation

unfeasible

i gotta laugh

i am just terrible at it

perhaps my mood has also been influenced by listening to russel brand

comedian with his radio 2 podcast

and i laughed out loud

crazy antic

crazy and yet fast...

a hurlyburly of linguistic flight-of-fancy

and it reminded me a little

of the kind of thing mike and i did

though of course not quite so manic...

hmm...

i wonder if this will carry into classes...?

i have wanted to several times

but it has never managed to get into the classroom

it also means

that i have to maintain that energy level every lesson

for months....

and it is a lot easier just being the walking dead

and conserving energy for...

for playing computer games...?

hehehe

defcon is an addictive game

oooh

and armagetron is now on the school server

so we'll see if any of the kids might be interested in forming teams...